Sly Si Fast Guy

2003-06-15T06:22:00.000Z

Its 6:58am. I am awake. This should not be. Sunday, particuarly this Sunday as it is Father's day, is usually the one day of the week that I manage to get that sacred extra couple of hours in bed. Callum however had different ideas this morning. I do not know what time he got up as I did not wake until there was one almighty bang coming from the kitchen at about 6:40am. I asked him nicley to go back to bed but you already know where that got me. He is now doing his impression of playing quietly. I think he just woke Sam up. Ohwell. I guess I'm used to getting up at this time now what with the new job and all.
Talking of the new job, it is going really well. The owner of the company keeps telling me well done as I am picking everything up really fast, he keeps telling me how his son and I are the hub of the company. A very large percentage of the money that the company makes does come through me and the guy I work with and once I am up to speed with everything it will be quite a high pressured job. Its alot similar to my Dad's job. If he doesn't quote then the company doesn't make any money. With my job I have to quote and process all the work which basically means that I will give the customer a price for whatever they want and if they say order it I then design what they want on the PC with all the accurate sizes. This then gets printed off and gets sent down to the factory ready to be made. There is more to the job than that. I have had to overcome my fear of telephones for starters. I also get to deal with pushy tradesman trying to save every penny that they can. I have to take reciept of all the money that comes in and do all the invoicing and ordering of materials needed to make the items. Designing conservatorys is really cool aswell. It took me half a day in my first week. I can now design all the windows and doors, the roof, and everything else that goes with it on the computer ,get a CAD drawing of it, and get a price for it in about 20 minutes now. I think that I have found the job that I will be in for a very long time, so long as they pay me what I think I'm worth. Who am I kidding no one will pay me what I think I'm worth. Maybe they will pay me their interpretation of what I think I'm worth. Sorry if I'm babbling on but my brain is yet to kick in.

2003-06-12T17:50:00.000Z

Sorry bossman (martin). Jobs going great. I can see myself being there for a very long time and I'm getting married on August the 8th 2004. So if you and Sarah would like to come to the do in the evening your more than welcome. Woohoooooooo!!!!

2003-05-31T23:57:00.000Z

This has to have been one of the most incredible weeks of my life, my divorce has been finalised, plus I have managed to get *the* best job of my life to date, but on top of that my Mum and Dad, the superstars that they are, were concerned about me travelling an hour to get to work only to have the first bus get me there half an hour late, so they phoned me up this morning and told me that they were going to buy me a car. Wow. How amazing is that. Dad came and got me half an hour later, found a car for me that is absolutley fantastic and bought it. We then went back to get Mum, after that they went and insured me on it and got 6 months tax for it from the post office. I only hope that I am able to be that generous and that helpful for my kids when they need help. Now I can get to work on time every morning which will please my new boss no end. 15 working days to go and then it is 7 glorious days lazing aroung on the river. Does life get much better than this?

Had a bit of a scare with the lottery tonight, I had numbers 2 and 9 for deffinite. I also had three numbers from the 20's. Two that were next to each other and 1 on its own. I can't remember for certain. I was sitting there quietly watching and getting a bit excited by what I was seeing. By the time the bonus ball had been drawn I was almost convinced that I had 5 numbers. Not being 100% sure I just went downstairs without saying anything and checked my ticket. Like I say I had 2 and 9 for sure. I think the other numbers I had were 23, 28, and 29. Had they have been 22, 26, and 27 I would be sitting pretty right now. Ohwell, I didn't win anything but the feeling of thinking you have won a major prize gives one hell of a buzz. Better luck next time.

I checked www.blogextra.com to see if there was a limit on backblog entries for the standard version but there is nothing on the site saying that is how it works. I read all the faqs and news but nothing was there either. I think Toby that you just got unlucky. My backblog is almost at the 100 mark so we will have to see what happens. The only other way round it is to register for a new one and delete the code for the one that is already on your site.

2003-05-30T11:06:00.000Z

I am so pooing my pants about Monday. I know that there is nothing to be afraid of but there is always a bit of self doubt. I'm sure it will pass in time but for now I am extremley nervous. I'm trying to chill out today with a bit of decorating and some housework. Its kind of working. I'm off to town later to get some new clothes and a hair cut ready for work. They told me that it isn't really a shirt enviroment but I want to make the right impression. I went to both my interviews in jeans and a polo neck, they didn't seem to mind. Some good questions on Friday Five today so here goes.

1. What do you most want to be remembered for?
For being a good partner, a good dad and setting the world alight with my funky day glow yellow conservatories.

2. What quotation best fits your outlook on life?
"Dude!"
"Sweet!"

3. What single achievement are you most proud of in the past year?
Being able to support my family by landing what I consider to be the best job I have ever managed to get.

4. What about the past ten years?
My kids.

5. If you were asked to give a child a single piece of advice to guide them through life, what would you say?
Never, ever, pay for sex.

2003-05-29T12:03:00.000Z

I got the job. I went in for a second interview with the owner of the company and he offered me the job after five miuntes. He wants me to learn *every* aspect of the double glazing trade. He also told me that the position that I will be taking on is the most important position there with regards to work coming in reguarly. I'm going to be fully trained with their CAD software and spend some time at the other factory learning how the items are actually made on the shop floor. I got offered a very attractive package which included a nice amount of money, 20 days holiday a year, sick pay and a review in three months with a chance that he will pay me more. I've still got my holiday in June which is great. I'm off down the library in a little while to see if I can get a book on AutoCAD so that when I go into work on Monday I will at least know what to expect. Roll on Monday.

2003-05-27T23:00:00.000Z

I had a job interview today. It was a job fitting windows again. I had phoned this job last week and had left a message on their answer phone. I got a call back today from a guy called Roy. Nice guy, we chatted on the phone for a bit about what I had done before and what he was after. He then asked if I could make it over to the premises for a chat. Next thing I know I'm on a bus on my way to Wickford. The bus route I use is ok but it only runs two buses an hour. I had managed to miss the 10 to the hour bus by about two minutes. I wasn't aware at the time that it came at 10 to. Twenty five minutes later another bus arrives and I am on my way. I have the pleasure of an old ladies company on the journey to the town centre. She tells me that she is retired but all she seems to do these days is the ironing, shopping and picking up of children from school for her two daughters. I explain that my Mother is also retired and that maybe I should have a word with her about doing the same ;o) Luckily for me the bus I am on goes all the way to where I need to go so I don't have to change buses. The only problem being that because I missed the 10 to bus I arrive 15 minutes later than the time arranged with Roy. On arrival I apologise for being a bit late and explain that I had to catch a bus because I am currently between cars. We both have a chuckle and we go off to his office where he explains in great detail about the job that he wants to offer me. I tell him more about what I have and havn't done and then provide him with my C.V. that I brought along with me. He goes through it all and asks about the previous companies that I have worked for and why the work with them came to an end. I decide at that point that honesty is without a doubt the best policy and tell him exactly why things happened the way they did. I'm glad I did. He obviously appreciated it. He then takes another look at my C.V. and comments on the fact that I have computing in my interests and that I am about to start working towards a degree in computer sciences in the new year. This is the point where the interview took a complete U-turn and caught me totally off guard. He started to ask me about my interest in computers and what I do. So I told him all about how I taught myself the in's and out's of maintaining computers and how I'm profficient in using them. He then asked me if I had ever used any CAD software so I told him no not really. I have had a look at some programs that I have got free on magazine coverdiscs but I havn't really tinkered with that side of things at all. He then starts telling me about an office position they have been advertising for a CAD operator. The position was basically consulting with builders and the like who want to say add a conservatory onto a houes that they are building. The operator would then find out what windows and doors they want to incorporate withing the building and then using that information design it and finalise a quote for the builder. He told me that the three people who had applied for the job had a good knowledge of computers but knew "bollock all" about the double glazing industry. He then asked me if I was interested in the position, he believes that my knowledge of both computers and the double glazing industry would be a good basis for me to fill the position. He said that I would be fully trained in the use of the CAD software and then would work alongside the guy who does something similar. He told me he would have to clear this with his Managing Director and that he would phone me tomorrow. On my way home I decided that I would stop at my mum's to say hello as Tim was there aswell and I wanted my mini-disc player back. *sorry tim* Whilst I'm there Vicky phoned me and told me Roy had phoned and that I should contact him ASAP. I gave him a call and he said that his MD wanted to meet me and take me through the what the job entailed and show me the software that they used. So now I have to go back in again tomorrow at 11oc and see what happens. I'll catch the 10 to bus tomorrow. I hope this comes off as this is something that I have always wanted to learn from back in my Kearsley days. If it dosn't come off at least I have the fitters job to fall back on as it felt like I had convinced Roy that I would be useful in that dept aswell. I even told him that if I got the job with the computers that I could also be used on site work if it was ever needed. So who knows. Fingers crossed.

2003-05-24T09:55:00.000Z

I got my reply back from the OU today. I have been accepted for my course which will start on the 7th Feb next year. I have qualified for a financial award. They will be picking up the tab for the total cost of the course which is cool. I also qualified for a student loan. I don't know how they worked it out to be £500 though. I think that is a little too much. The books that I need for the course come to about £40 but I had a look around on Amazon and I can pick up all 3 books second hand for about $9 which works out at about £6 plus shipping. Awesome. I guess that once I have bought a couple of each printer cartridge and some stationary I will have enough left to see me through next years study aswell. The course I am doing is completley online. Maybe thats to help with ISP costs aswell. I'm not going to complain about it though. If I have any money left at the end of the year I guess I could see about some alcohol and drugs which would technically be free as I don't think I will ever earn enough to have to pay the loan back.
Sitting around all day now waiting for the phone to ring. I had a job interview yesterday which went really well. He said he had a few more people to interview and that he would get back to me tomorrow if I got the job. I'm sure that he said that he was just staying down in Basildon overnight so I'm sure that he would have done this as early as possible. It's now 10:47 and the phone hasn't rung yet. Ohwell, If my memory serves me well I think that this is the first job that I have ever gone for and have not got. Maybe he wanted a lay in and a big breakfast before he rings me. I will remain hopefull all day. In the mean time I think I will kill some people. Unreal Tournament is a great release if your ever feeling pent up.

2003-05-23T11:43:00.000Z

I can't breathe. This chest infection is not very nice at all. I had my job interview this morning. It went really well. I told him about me, he told me about the job and then he said that he will call me tomorrow if I am the one for the job. Fingers crossed, the job is driving around delivering car parts. It sounds like a doddle. You go in at 7, load your van, program the sat nav with all your drops and it computes the most efficient route for you to take. Then the computer tells you when to turn left and right. Woohoo! If it wern't for actually having to control the van I could do it in my sleep. The best bit is that its not local. I could be delivering up in Norfolk or down on the south coast. All that for £350 a week, nice. Hope there is a stereo in the van. I have a doctors appointment this afternoon at 10 to 5, so hopefully they will give me some free antibiotics as I don't need to sign off just yet until I'm told I deffinitley have the job. I don't know when I'm going to get a chance to do that though as its a bank holiday this monday. Ohwell. I sat and watched Ghost Ship this morning. What a load of crap. The Queens speach is far more enjoyable than that. Toby's new level is super cool. Not much else to talk about really so I guess I'll just finish off with the good old Friday Five.

1. What brand of toothpaste do you use?
Whatever is on special but usually Colgate.

2. What brand of toilet paper do you prefer?
Andrex quilted velvet. You can't beat a well pampered arse.

3. What brand(s) of shoes do you wear?
Nike.

Boy these questions are dull today.

4. What brand of soda do you drink?
Pepsi Max or Vanilla Coke.

5. What brand of gum do you chew?
I don't.

Wow, that was exciting. Seeya.

2003-05-21T07:09:00.001Z

I feel like poo,
I think I got the flu.

2003-05-21T07:09:00.000Z

I feel like poo,
I think I got the flu.

2003-05-19T18:13:00.000Z

Hooray for me. This morning I posted off my application for doing my degree with the Open University. I am going to attempt to complete a BSc degree in computer sciences. The course is due to start in February. This course is just designed really to get back into a student frame of mind i.e. *free* drink, *free* drugs.Or just to get back into studying again. I forget which. I actually found a website today which shows you step by step how to do different skateboard tricks. So my board and I will be getting to know each other quite well over the next few days. Hopefully I won't get hurt. It was quite an eventfull day, the job center was the best bit. An old man with a walking stick had joined the line at the front of the building but had left a wet streak trailing behind him from the bottom of his trousers. I'm sure that he had pissed himself but not realised. Poor guy. Toby and myself then set off for a coke where he enlightened me with his idea for a more pure northern spike. Very, very funny. Toby I really think you have a great idea for the next themed episode of Buffy, personally I think it will be better than the musical. I think at some point you should include a game of darts. The questions for the friday five were a bit naff last week which led to me having no enthuiasm to do them so here they are, late as ever.

1. What drinking water do you prefer -- tap, bottle, purifier, etc.?
Clean water wherever possible.

2. What are your favorite flavor of chips?
Deep fried from the chip shop or roast beed flavoured *CRISPS*.

3. Of all the things you can cook, what dish do you like the most?
Cous cous with diced red onions fried in butter.....yummy.

4. How do you have your eggs?
Scrambled.....or special eggy to all you sad bastards who are as sad as I am and actually believed your mother when she dished up scrambled egg and said it was special eggy just to get you to eat it only to be really upset at cub camp when you ask if it is special eggy for breakfast only to have akela say yes it is and dish up the scariest looking fried egg you have ever seen in your life. I did not know you could get eggs done differently to special eggy when I was just a boy.......

4. How do you have your eggs?
My fiancee and it was very nice.

Ohwell I'm off to practise at UT2K3 as I'm probably going to get my ass kicked by certain couple of people on thursday night. Seeya.

2003-05-15T16:28:00.000Z

WOW! The Golden Age of Grotesque is without a doubt one of the best albums I have heard in a long time. It flows oh so well. Before you know it 17 tracks of some of the best industrial metal have flowed though your ear drums without even realising it. Outstanding. On another note did anybody get a chance to watch MTV's Icon with Metallica last night? It was absolutley brilliant. I felt 17 all over again. I got to the point where I really needed to go out and buy Master of Puppets and Ride the Lightning again. They played a couple of new tracks from their, what I can only assume to be, forthcoming album. It was cool to see James Hetfield had recovered from his dance with alcoholism. Apparently he spent 9 months in rehab only then to come out and not touch a guitar for 3 months as the band and himself spent the time talking about what Metallica was all about. Been busy the last couple of days playing with MAME32 and WinUAE. In case your wondering they are both emulators, the latter being an emulator for the awesome Commodore Amiga. In my opinion the best machine when it came to a *complete* home computer. Man when I had one of those PC's were no better than pocket calculators. I spent a lot of my childhood hiding behind a stack of floppy discs and X-Copy pro spending the afternoon swapping games. So far I have managed to aquire alot of the classic games that thrilled and excited me before I found puberty and my first girlfriend. The best part about all this is that I have managed to come by a website that is host to all the old public domain demos that used to the rounds. Eric Shwartz and Tobias Richter have no doubt gone on to far better things thanks to the power of the Amiga. There demos were considered mind blowing when they first appeared all those years ago. If you fancy having a look at all this nostalgia then head on over to http://amiga.nvg.org/warlock/ there you will find classics such as the Red Sector mega demos and my old favourite Jesus on E's. Games are a little bit harder to come by as they are illegal although some companys have given up the copyrights which means that some abandonware sites are able to host them. I've found a few sites that still host alot of the games. I won't list them here as they will probably get shut down if they are advertised. I've just found a couple more sites that host games. I managed to get Wings and Ultima 3 from this site. I must have at least 60 games by now. Not even close to the amount that I owned when the Amiga was more than a Win32 application, ahwell technology must keep going forward, you can't beat a small amount of retro gaming. Its good for the soul. New quote up today aswell, goodluck and seeya.

2003-05-14T20:04:00.000Z

I have just got Marilyn Manson's "The Golden Age of Grotesque" and I cannot wait to listen to it. Won't be tonight though as were watching the Metallica thingy on MTV and then Punk'd shortly after. I'll let you know how good it is (and it will be good) tomorrow.

2003-05-13T06:51:00.000Z

Its 7:30ish in the morning. I have a migraine and I feel really sick. I think I have the flu coming. Anyways I have to take my computer apart in a minute as I am having CREAM carpet fitted in my living room. I must be mad, cream carpet and 4 kids and one of them is a Callum......lol. The fitter has asked for the room to be completley empty. There is only one problem. The sofa's are so bloody big I have had to take the feet off the bottom of them and the door off Sams bedroom and even then its a squeeze. I gotta go as I must get done by nine oclock. So I won't be changing the quote today but I am still ashamed that you didn't know the Night of the Living Dead quote. Ahwell, have fun, I won't.

2003-05-09T11:24:00.000Z

Here's a thing. I'm going to do the Friday Five on Friday. Amazing. So here goes,
1. Would you consider yourself an organized person? Why or why not?
Yes and no really. I like to be able to find things but I like my home to look lived in. I can't stand houses where you can't see any possesions. I have a good dvd collection and I want to show it off. Things like that. I like gadgets aswell, they generally don't have a home so they are just placed around the house.

2. Do you keep some type of planner, organizer, calendar, etc. with you, and do you use it regularly?
Yes I do have a planner, but its mainly for marking out when bills are due, school holidays, when I get paid, that kind of thing. All those things can be worked out for the rest of the year so we will have a mad few hours marking it up and then it usually just hangs on the wall looking pretty.

3. Would you say that your desk is organized right now?
Absolutley not. At the moment appart from the bits that are meant to be on here there is a bowling pin, cd's out of cases, the days mail, yesterdays reciepts from shopping, a tape measure, a center punch and some random paperwork. But then saying that my desk is rarely organised.

4. Do you alphabetize CDs, books, and DVDs, or does it not matter?
No I don't however I do organise into movie genre's and different types of packaging. Its annoying that 90% of DVD distributors use the standard plastic case but then you have the other 10% who use those crappy cardboard ones that stick out that little bit further.

5. What's the hardest thing you've ever had to organize?
Dinner for my four children, it's because three of them will like beans and not spaghetti. So I have to do both. Two will like chips but not fritters. One dosn't like metal cuttlery but does like the cuttlery with wooden handles. Child 1 will want to sit next to Child 3 but not Child 2. Is it me or is this starting to sound like a logic puzzle? The worst part is when I'm half way through doing dinner for them and my partner will come down and tell me what she wants for dinner......aaarrrgghhhh!!!!!!!!

2003-05-08T21:09:00.000Z

Just a quick post to let you all know that my two gorgeous children and I are all suffering from the effects of bad burgers. I have never felt so ill after eating food. Sam came out crying his eyes out saying it hurts and if he is suffering anything like I am then I can only hope he sleeps tonight as this is intolerable. So incase your wondering the guilty burgers are Icelands own burgers on their buy 2 for £2. I feel like I am suffering the effects of a real bad trip. My head is pounding, my limbs ache, my eye sight is crappy. Horrible. I'd also like to say that VIRGIN SUCK ASS PLENTY!!!!! I bought 10 dvd's from them today. I put five behind the counter yesterday and then went and found Alien and Alien Ressurection on the shelf which was what tempted me to buy ten in the first place. I went back there today and they had removed Alien and Alien Ressurection from the promotion due to insufficient stock levels. I said that I had been in the day before but the guy was just an arrogant wanker and pretty much said tough shit. I still bought my other dvd's as me not buying them in protest would have just given him something to chuckle about at lunch time. Just wanted to get that off my chest as it has pissed me off all day.
The new quote I thought was quite apt as to the way I feel tonight.
Seeya.

2003-05-06T15:13:00.000Z

Today I went shopping. I got lots of stuff today including 3 all day breakfasts. No not all for me as I had company. Vicky and Toby both shared one. Nah only kidding. VANILLA COKE RULES, right there under the king of all soft drinks PEPSI MAX. I got Vicky an early birthday present today. Buffy season 1 on DVD. Were watching it now. I never got a chance to see the first episode. It was really good. I got some cool stuff from a sports shop. There are so many down the town that I can't remember the name of it, so no free advertising for Sports & Soccer then....DOH! I got a skateboard. Picture this, 18 stone man careering out of control on said skateboard with people walking up the street into oncoming 18 stone man on skateboard. 18 stone man bails out and does copious amounts of damage and manages to lose 1/2 stone of flesh upon impacting against neighbours 2 foot high spiked fence and waits there until emergency services can arrive to rescue him. Well it hasn't happened yet but I'm 99% sure it will within the next week or so. Getting a skateboard probably wasn't the smartest of things to do but I want to learn lots of new things. I've started with mapping with UnrealEd, building meshes with Maya and kickstarting a career of some courses with the OU, as yet I cannot think of a single good reason to learn to skateboard other than to show those skater punks down the town that a 28 year old father of 4 who is 18 stone probably can't skateboard and will get hurt proving it. My partner has just got some cross stitching bits and pieces, maybe that was the way to go.
Anyways, seeing as its Tuesday I thought I would entertain you with last Fridays fridayfive from www.fridayfive.org:
1. Name one song you hate to admit you like.
The Wheels on the Bus by Mad Donna.

2. Name two songs that always make you cry.
November Rain by Guns and Roses is a dead cert and Itsy Witsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini by Timmy Mallet because it is just so bad.

3. Name three songs that turn you on.
I Wanna Sex You Up by Colour Me Bad, me and my fiancee love that one. Fuck Her Gently by Jack Black gets the old imagination running and Hold a Chicken in the Air.

4. Name four songs that always make you feel good.
Any four tracks by Dire Straights. In paticular Romeo and Juliet, and Private Investigations.

5. Name five songs you couldn't ever do without.
Smells Like Teen Spirit, Nirvana. Paradise City, Guns and Roses. Firestarter, Prodigy. God Save the Queen, Sex Pistols. Mr Wendel, Arrested Development.

Well until the next time.
Before I go, the quote your trying to work out was from a film that was released in 1986.

2003-05-05T08:42:00.000Z

Its been a hectic few days what with finishing off the living room, buying carpet, collecting bricks and cleaning up after the kids. Although the hardest job has probably been finding a decent quote to baffle and confuse. I did the national IQ test last night and I was just 2 points short of what I expected it to be. I know mw quite well obviously. Anyways, new quote is up. Good luck.

2003-04-30T21:54:00.000Z

This one should have the old brain ticking. I know that Toby has seen the movie that this is from.......no more clues!

2003-04-29T12:22:00.000Z

Almost finished decorating. Hooray. I'd just like to say that seeing as the only two contestants for the quote game have already won a prize each that from now its just for fun...... :o( Sorry but my Job Seekers won't stretch to any more...lol

2003-04-26T21:04:00.000Z

Here's my Friday Five from fridayfive.org.

1. What was the last TV show you watched?
Kirsty's Home Videos with a paticuarly nasty clip of a martial arts expert not being an expert with a samurai sword. He cut off his big toe.

2. What was the last thing you complained about?
I had to fix my puter. I *really* complained about that.

3. Who was the last person you complimented and what did you say?
My fiancee's mum about the lovley dinner she had cooked for us all and I said "Thanks for the lovely dinner that you cooked for us all."

4. What was the last thing you threw away?
A Toffee Crisp wrapper that I ate this afternoon.

5. What was the last website (besides this one) that you visited?
The windows update page so that I could download all the latest security updates.

Before I go i have a funny story, last night my daughters friend knocked on the door. She had obviously been crying but seeing as I had answered the door she was trying her damndest to hide it. She said with a very shakey voice "Do you have a torch my mummy can borrow?" I said no as I don't have one and asked what was the matter. She then told me that the electricity had stopped working in her house as her hamster had escaped and had chewed through the electricity cable, killing it instantly......
I could not stop laughing, but not in front of her as I had run upstairs and left Jessica to talk to her friend.

2003-04-22T20:06:00.000Z

Howdy all. I had a tidy up today, and I did whilst listening to Counting Crows, Queen Adrena, Eminem, Placebo, and Linkin Park. I'm all ready to start painting tomorrow now. I'm *really* looking forward to it. I have to paint my ceiling which starts at about 7 feet high at one end of the room and goes all the way up to 16 feet high at the other end of the room. Luckily for me I know how to levetate, which really does come in handy. Congrats to Toby for winning the first quote. If it remains this easy I may well change the rules....i.e. any damn movie ;o) I'm off to wind up my fiancee now as only I know how.......

2003-04-20T22:38:00.000Z

Star Wars quote game blog style........first one to leave the right answer on my backblog wins a prize.

2003-04-20T19:14:00.000Z

Hell yeah. I've just been to Blockbusters and they had CKY2K in stock to buy. I ended up buying 4 DVD's in total which included Blade 2, MIB 2, Spiderman and the affore mentioned CKY2K. Can't wait to watch it, here is the description to wet your appetite.
"CKY2K is the origional Jackass, going far, far further than the MTV show has ever dared. In the freakfest that started it all, members of the Jackass cast lay waste to suburban America leaving a trail of carnage in their wake, wrecked automobiles, mullets, unlimited amounts of excrement, explosions, fights, broken limbs, outrageous skate action, naked Dave, fat suits, shopping trolley duels, insane falls, furniture surfing, bizzare skits and Bam's dad. If you're easily offended put this down and run home to mummy."
Can't wait to watch it. It also has as a subtitle "For sick little puppies everywhere" I guess that really does include me!

2003-04-19T11:01:00.000Z

1. Who is your favorite celebrity?
Bam Margera, I've been watching alot of Jackass latley and this guy is just amazing. Hopefully I can get all of his CKY dvd's off the net. Funny bloke.

2. Who is your least favorite?
Maria Carey, that girl is pure bitch in a can.

3. Have you ever met or seen any celebrities in real life?
I met Johny Ball as a kid. What a nice man. I met him on a school trip to the science museum. I really enjoyed his show as a kid. I didn't exactly meet Gary Wilmott but I did shout obscenaties at him and his pink poodle that he was walking down the street. He got all stroppy....lol. I also metKeith Flint from the Prodigy

4. Would you want to be famous? Why or why not?
I guess I would, you have to try everything once. I can't promise I'd be well behaved as I know I wouldn't. I'd be a very bad boy. ;o)

5. If you had to trade places with a celebrity for a day, who would you choose and why?
The Queen, I'd tear the palace up for a day. Play some death metal, skate board around the guest rooms.....cool!

2003-04-17T21:11:00.000Z

I GOT ENGAGED TODAY!!!! Hooray for boobies!!!! I is a very lucky guy.

I've installed UT2K3. Played online for about 30 seconds as I had a very wierd lag experience. I would run off around a corner and then I would appear to be back where I started. After this I start to move at what looks like 1 frame a second to the point I had just run to. Wierd. I'm at the moment downloading the Epic games u-mod which has ten new levels and 3 new modes of play, and the Ownage map packs. This means that I will have the epic games umod, the debonus umod and the ownage pack. Toby if you want these let me know and I will put them on a cd and bring them tomorrow. Anyways I'm off to read about lighting a map and watch ali-g with me julie. Seeya.

2003-04-14T19:42:00.000Z

1. What was the first band you saw in concert?
The first band I ever saw was a local band that went by the name of Phil Burdett and the New World Troubadores. I first saw them about 11 years ago with my girlfriend. They released a cd called "Diesel Poems" which is absolutley fantastic and I recommend it to anyone.

2. Who is your favorite artist/band now?
The Prodigy, always have been, always will be. I've seen them in concert, met them, and totally lost myself whenever I listen to them.

3. What's your favorite song?
My fave song is "Private Investigations" by Dire Straits. Absolutley amazing, even better live.

4. If you could play any instrument, what would it be?
I played drums at school, tried to learn guitar as a teenager and I'm pretty good with decks and mixer software on my PC but if I had to learn one instrument it would have to be the triangle.

5. If you could meet any musical icon (past or present), who would it be and why?
I've already met my musical hero Keith Flint from the Prodigy, but I would really love to meet Axel Rose (aka William Bailey) as the man is just a legend. My reason for wanting to meet him is that I have been a huge Guns and Roses fan for years and I think that he has something to offer anyone who cares to take in what he has written in his songs.

If anyone wonders where these questions come from the url is www.fridayfive.org Cool site with some cool questions.

2003-04-14T19:25:00.000Z

Today is my birthday. Thanks to Toby and Martin for the backblogs, much appreciated. 28 dosn't feel that much different from 27 to be honest. I still feel 18 inside. Lucky me I guess. I was at Mum and Dad's for tea yesterday which was nice and I had Tasha and Callum sleep over last night. The kids woke me up at about 7:00am this morning. If you can imagine 8 knees and 8 elbows at 7 in the morning you will know how I feel. I got some cool stuff for my birthday. Mum and Dad got me a new fishing tackle box as my fat ass broke my Dad's old one. I got £10 from my Nan. From Vicky and the kids I got the new Placebo album "Sleeping with Ghosts", the Sugababes album "Angels with Dirty Faces", Alien 3 on DVD, a Tottenham sports bottle, a king size Mars Bar, a boost Guarana Bar and Burnout on the XBox. So all in all I did very well. I also got a fantastic roast dinner cooked for me by my lovely girlfriend who says I still have a few IOU's to cash in tonight. I wonder what she could mean.

2003-04-10T20:12:00.000Z

Kind of a hectic day. Met up with Toby at the job center. No new jobs available in there, what a surprise. Went for breakfast and had a good chat about all things Ed. Looking forward getting back into that. Helps if I install Unreal Tournament 2003 first really. I will get around to doing that at some point. Had a fantastic chilli whilst watching Buffy.....wow! Dont worry Toby I won't write anything here......
Anyways, that pretty much sums up my day other than the fact that I have completley forgotten about the fact that I have 2 job possibilities on the horizon....cool!

2003-04-09T09:07:00.000Z

*please*

2003-04-09T09:03:00.000Z

COME ON PHONE, RING DAMN IT!

2003-04-08T18:42:00.000Z

I hate looking for jobs. It sucks. For two days now the Job Center Plus website has been down. I've just checked it and what a surprise it was working, only trouble is there are no jobs in window fitting. However there was one in the paper tonight. I gave it a call. It was a company owned by a husband and wife who were looking for someone to work with him but with the ability to go off and fit windows on their own. Hey I can do that. They told me they will call me back later but as yet the phone has not rung....grrr! Its been a wierd day. I feel a bit out of sync today. Its a strange feeling. A bit like when your full of cold and can't really do things whole heartedly. Except I don't feel ill. Thats the way it goes I guess. Ohwell, another day of sitting by the phone tomorrow.

2003-04-07T18:17:00.000Z

Not sure how to go about this but I'd like to take a moment to remember an old friend from school who died recently. His name was Robert. He was a really nice guy who I always got on with, always said hello and always had time for a chat. It was nice to know him and really sad that he had to leave so early. Cheers.

2003-04-07T17:26:00.000Z

Ooooo, had to sign on today. I had prepared myself for an onslaught of question by A: writing as much as could into their ridiculously small boxes with things that I had done 5 minutes before leaving to sign on and B: think of all the questions that they could possibly ask and come up with suitable answers. So leaving with plenty of time to spare my girlfriend Vicky and I head off to Savacenter to change up a huge bag of money. In the end we get about £33 back so decide to buy the kids the new England shirts (Jessica didn't like hers so Vicky took it back and got me one instead...woohoo). After this we trotted off through to the Job Center Plus building to sign on. Hand my book in, sit down and wait to be called. Approx 15 mins later they call me over say "sign here and goodbye". Well, all my planning, what a waste of 5 minuted before I had to leave. Decide to go and have a fried breakfast at the Savacenter restaurant and then go for a coffee with Mum and Toby at Mum's house. Toby and I got deep into conversation about an Unreal level we would like to build. Came home, got the kids, helped prepare dinner. Spoke to Tash and Callum which was nice, only trouble was I had to speak to that bitch of a mother of theirs aswell. Ohwell can't have everything.

Girlfriend, sofa, movie.......sounds good to me.
Seeya.

2003-04-06T00:10:00.000Z

Wow, what a day. Glad your new PC has worked out ok bro. Just to let you and anyone else who reads this know that I have actually managed to get your old machine up and running. I got Luke's 1gig drive working but I decided in the end that I would try and get my old 10gig drive working in it. Unfortunatley the mobo (slang for motherboard) cannot read anything over 8.4gig. This is due to a very old bios chip. I can't be bothered to flash it with a newer version. However I have been able to set the drive settings in the old bios to run in LBA mode. This means that only reads the first x amount on a HDD. I have managed to squeeze just over 2 gig of space out of the drive. Not much I know but twice as much as I had before. Everything else is working fine, I downloaded all the drivers for the Voodoo3 card. The scanner is working a treat too. Tomorrow I will probably update Windows to the ME version as it is more stable than 98. Theoretically I should be able to set up the PC's on a network. I'm not sure if XP has any problems talking to ME, but I guess I will find out. Anyways just for prosperity I will put up the spec for the PC so we can all have a good laugh.
Cyrix MII 300 (about 230mhz) processor
128 MB PC100 ram
2gig HDD (should be 10)
Voodoo3 2000 16MB graphics card
17" superVGA 1280 X 968 monitor
6X cd writer
On board sound
Windows ME
Sounds absolutley amazing. Still it works and it will give the kids a chance to learn about computers. I don't mind them playing around with this one as its a sinch to put right if anything goes wrong. Its been fun putting it back together. All I have to do now is put a set of speakers on it that work.

See you all tomorrow.

2003-04-05T09:27:00.000Z

God damn Bill Gates and his Windows XP. After finishing on my computer last night I shut it down as usual and went to bed. This morning though I boot up as normal and the little icon in the system tray for my ADSL modem says its not responding. So I load up the diagnostic software......except its not there. So I have a look around to see whats going on. Now either during shut down last night or boot up this morning Windows XP took it upon itself to remove all the drivers and software for my ADSL modem. I know the modem was active last night as I was online just before I shut down.....has Windows developed some kind of AI???? Anyway, I have reinstalled all the software and performed several system restarts to check that they are still there. They are, good! Wierd.

2003-04-04T19:30:00.000Z

Eastenders is soooooo SHIT!!!!!!!!!! It is so incredibly dull. I think that people of Albert Square have had enough bad luck and misfortune for every living thing in this rather large universe. It's typical of the human race to get so much enjoyment out of watching other people suffer, I include myself in this as I have a number of internet sites in my favourites folder that solely exploit this passion within. I wish that all soaps would end, they are all as bad as each other. I take great enjoyment when they kill off one of there mainstay characters. This more often than not leads to sarcastic comments from my eldest daughter saying "Daaaaaad, your not being very nice." Stuff soaps, stuff them all. I hope that the writers implode and the *actors* end up playing the flute outside some underground station somewhere.

Now I've got that off my chest I would just like to say that I enjoyed my dinner that I cooked, it was very nice. Goodnight.

2003-04-04T13:36:00.000Z

I just farted on my girlfriend's cats head......he now looks ever so slightly confused.

2003-04-04T12:17:00.000Z

Toby I wish you would have never started this Friday Five crap, now I can't help myself.....

1. How many houses/apartments have you lived in throughout your life?
I have lived on 10 houses/bungalows during my 27/28 years. Is that good or bad? Seems like a hell of alot to me.

2. Which was your favorite and why?
My Mum & Dad's house, as my bedroom there was a shag palace for my girlfriend and I.

3. Do you find moving house more exciting or stressful? Why?
I find it a bit of both really. You have the excitement of setting up a new house how you would like it to go and then you have the stress of your partner shouting at you to put the wallpaper up......I love paint and big rollers.

4. What's more important, location or price?
I don't actually own my own home so I guess its location. Although the council house we are in is worth a heck of a lot. Its important for us to be near a good school for the kids.

5. What features does your dream house have (pool, spa bath, big yard, etc.)?
My dream house actually has a small cinema built in it, with a huge screen for movies and my games. And a dungeon so I can carry out my S&M hobby.

2003-04-04T10:21:00.000Z

Thanks for the help Martin. I think the page looks much better now. I've moved eveerything into the right place, and I even managed to change the fonts and the colour for the titles. I like it. What I want to try and do now is change the fonts for the links, dates, and posted by..... bits. I've looked at the html but rather than having a specific font it has "font family". I've tried changing it but it dosn't work. I imagine that I need to find which family the Gothic font belongs to but I'm not to sure.

Looks like both Toby and myself are waiting in for phone calls to do with jobs today. Good luck mate. I just took a sip from my tea and it turns out my girlfriend has not put any sugar in it.....shame on you!! It was horrible.

I changed the text on my "start" button on my computer today. It now says "JACKASS RULES!" The only trouble with XP is that you can set up several user accounts within it. We have 4 on our computer, and the only way to change the text was doing it whilst logged on as the administrator. We all now have "JACKASS RULES!" on our start button. I think it looks very cool. I was thinking of having "click here stupid" but decided against it at the last minute. I've done it using a very cool freeware program called Resource Hacker which allows you to view the code of certain files i.e. dll's, exe's etc. Within the code is everything that makes up the different parts. To change the start button text you have to open explorer.exe and then find the relevant string and just change the text within that. The tricky part is that you can't save over explorer.exe during a live session so you have to restart the computer in "safe mode with command prompt". You then go to the windows folder and save your new file over the old and hay presto. I'm going to have fun with this program. You can even change the text that appears in the balloon that appears when you hover the mouse cursor over things.......

Martin, why don't you start your own blog?

2003-04-03T18:37:00.000Z

Thats it, all done. I've signed on. It wasn't the horrible experience I thought it was going to be. I may have phoned a job already. I phoned them this afternoon and I will get a call back tomorrow to arrange an interview. Cool. Played one pack Magic with Toby up in the Savacenter restaurant. He won, just....you know I would have kicked your butt. Damn flying 6/6 monsters.....hope there is some removal in the next set. I'm off to cook dinner now so seeya later.

2003-04-03T08:55:00.000Z

This is a sad day. Today I sign on. I have managed to avoid having to do this since I was old enough to go out to work. I'm not happy about it but it means that the children will have something for dinner each week. Hopefully I won't be out of work for too long. I have a guy who is ready to start work with just a phone call from me, now all I need is a company to work for. It pisses me off that when I phone around for work the first thing they ask about is how long I have been fitting windows. When I tell them just over half a year they snigger, take my details and promise me a return call. Now I have phoned over 35 companys and I'm still waiting. I'm actually rather good at the job. The other day we had the company that fitted our windows and doors out to repair our back door. I wasn't going to do it myself as that would have started a warrantee issue. But for the entire time that this *experienced* (told me had been fitting for over 5 years) fitter was here I was helping him out. He spent nearly an hour just trying to work out what was wrong. He then went out to his van to "phone a friend". When his friend turned up I explained that the door had dropped due to the frame not being square. He then checked what I had told him......I was right. The door had been manufactured incorrectly. I think I deserve a job. Nuff said.

2003-04-02T18:29:00.000Z

I just bought Linkin Parks Meteora album and you'll never guess what.......it's actually rather good, if a little short at 36 minutes. Other than that its been a very quiet day.

2003-04-01T17:36:00.000Z

Been a few days since I lost wrote anything. Today has been really shit. To start with my wages havn't been paid into my bank account, so that really sucks. My girlfriend isn't feeling too good, and my download is taking far too long. Broadband is supposed to be fast but at the moment it feels like I'm back on 56k. Ohwell. I've been looking around for a new job but as yet nothing has come up. My current job have promised me they will call back tomorrow with some work ready for Monday, but I doubt they will. I hate being self employed but as yet I can't find a job that pays any where near the amount that I can earn at the moment. The house is spotless though, been working my ass off with my girlfriend getting the place straight.

My brother and his girlfriend came for dinner last night. It was alot of fun. I showed him all my nasty video clips that I have downloaded from ogrish.com and off of KaZaA. We laughed. Had spaghetti and meatballs for dinner. Two chilli peppers was just right. We also had roast tats with it aswell. I love roast tats, especially when there all crispy. Tim kicked my ass on Madden, your mine next time ya punk bitch.

I've been listening to my new Coldplay album all day. Its so damn good. I think I got some Counting Crows in there at some point and I definatley listened to some Chilli Peppers. Might get a movie on Sky tonight, depends on what else is on.

I'm trying to get my backblog working on here but as yet I can't get the template for my old blog up so I can't copy it over. Ohwell

Bye for now.

2003-03-28T20:20:00.000Z

Its Friday so here comes a really lazy way to fill the blog.

1. What was your most memorable moment from the last week?
Picking the name for my future son or daughter, which by the way is Charlie.

2. What one person touched your life this week?
It would be easy to say my girlfriend but then she touches my life every week so I will have to say President Bush, as after listening to a live broadcast from Camp David I actually felt sorry for the people of America having to put up with this schmuck as their leader.

3. How have you helped someone this week?
I helped my brother out by stopping him getting all sweaty walking to his interview.

4. What one thing do you need to get done by this time next week?
Sort out my job as I'm supposed to start Monday but that dosn't look like it is going to happen.

5. What one thing will you do over the next seven days to make your world a better place?
I will write an email to the lads over in Iraq to say hello.

I'm off to play Unreal2 now. Seeya later.

2003-03-28T19:13:00.000Z

Did you enjoy reading my post twice? Sorry about that. Won't happen again. At least I hope not. Pretty good day today. I done housework.....woohoo!

2003-03-27T20:10:00.000Z

Well here it is......my new blog. Confessions of a window fitter has had to bite the bullet. Besides that it was crap. Who really wants to read about windows. Just a short post to get things started. Links and backblog will all appear when I get a chance to put them in. In the mean time I thought I'd be a sneaky bastard and use the Friday Five to get the ball rolling.

Before that though, good luck Toby. It was no trouble waiting outside for you.

1. If you had the chance to meet someone you've never met, from the past or present, who would it be?
Sarah Michelle Gellar. Just to see if she would like to have a double party this April 14th as its my birthday aswell.

2. If you had to live in a different century, past or future, which would it be?
The 31st century, just to see what state our world will be in.

3. If you had to move anywhere else on Earth, where would it be?
The Norfolk Broads. Without a doubt the most peaceful place I have ever been to.

4. If you had to be a fictional character, who would it be?
Boba Fett!!!!

5. If you had to live with having someone else's face as your own for the rest of your life, whose would it be?
Alyson Hannigan. Just to see how many people ask her about her pussy at band camp.

2003-03-27T20:09:00.000Z